Christmas Gift Ideas for Little Ones With FASD

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By @FASD_Mum

This is for those of you who, perhaps like us, may be behind in the Christmas shopping department and who may be looking for gifts for those little ones with FASD.  These are some items over the years that have been big hits.

Apologies, many of these links are for UK sites – but most of these items are available elsewhere.  These are suggestions only, of course we can’t endorse any specific product.  We understand all kids are different, what calms one may have the opposite effect on others.  But in case it’s useful, this is a glimpse into what has worked for us over the years.  (There are lots of great items available on sensory toys websites.  Here is one example of a great site.)  Christmas isn’t just about presents, and for our kiddo less is often better.  We are posting a variety of things here, just to get those creative juices going if, like us, you are staring into these coming holidays like a reindeer in headlights.

Our main point is that while some of these might not seem like presents you may have wanted as a child, they might be extremely welcomed by a sensory-seeking kid.  So, think outside of the box.

A heavy furry blanket.  Our guy has one he uses every single day, it’s great for sensory regulation and calming.  I have no idea if this one is heavy, it’s just an example.    screen-shot-2016-12-04-at-10-28-02-am

Soft colour changing pillow.  This one is really soft.

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Emoji bedding – we have used an emoji duvet cover and emoji pillows to help develop strategies for how to go from angry to happy (see this blog post) and to help him describe how he is feeling.  (We also have been known to encourage throwing the emoji pillows at a bare wall when frustrated or punching the pillows…) He loves emojis!

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Sensory den/dark pup tent.  We have always wanted to have enough space (and money) for one of these or a bean bag chair (there are lots on that site, including some great full body loungers and some for teens).  You can be creative.  We have improvised by the bottom of a closet as a calm space for our guy.  Previously we hung curtains around the bottom of a bunk bed and put in special lights.screen-shot-2016-12-04-at-10-33-41-am

Bath items – GelliBaf, foaming bath soap, lavender bubble bath, bath cups with different holes in the bottom

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Fidget bag – lots of options for creativity here, great stocking stuffers (this is only one example) or maybe a fidget pencil case for those who have trouble sitting still in class.  Pencil fidget toppers or a chew buddy necklace also can help.

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Clothes – our guy loves compression shirts and tights, anything with spandex and without tags.

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We haven’t bought weighted vests or expensive weighted blankets, but we have used lap pads and weighted warmers.  This one looks fun.  We used to have vibrating bug massagers and Ps and Qs for chewing.

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Always wanted a body sox, but suspect we waited too long.

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Safety mirror for those who tend to make things sail across the room.

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Galt marble runs have been a favourite in our house for years (though marbles do fly, and should be avoided for kids who put things in their mouths).

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Hands-on is great.  We have had success with magic sand (though be vigilant, we heard one family had a struggle when it was washed down the drain), play doh – our latest is the ice cream shoppe, play foam (but beware it’s very sticky).  We also have in past just given a huge plastic bowl so he can mix ‘concoctions’ in the kitchen.

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Also spinning paints, spinning markers, Spirograph JuniorGears! Gears! Gears!  (Yes, there is a theme here…)

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Disco lights (we have many, but not this particular one). A bluetooth speaker with LED lights was also a big hit, worth checking out if you have technology.  There are many options for inexpensive sensory lighting, such as this one.  Have a google.

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Jumping items – a must when our guy was younger – sadly our garden isn’t big enough for a trampoline these days.  But a kiddie trampoline for the young ones would be top on my list (there are sturdier ones from disability aids websites).  Skipping ropes are great too, and cheaper.  Exercise balls can also be great for home use, having a kid just sit on one and watch TV or when doing homework can really help give that little bit of input – but in our house they fly too often for comfort.

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Swingball – endless hours of entertainment

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Books – we have found that our guy has a different relationship with books than our elder son.  He does better with hands-on books, like the Usborne Lift the Flap books (which actually contain some higher level info but more easily accessible for him, in little bursts). See Inside Your Head was one we used to help him start to understand his brain (though it’s not FASD related, we found it useful).  (When he was smaller all the touch and feel books were essential, like the That’s Not My… series.)   DK Eyewitness books for kids are also a hit, again very visual and short bits of info. DK Eyewitness classics are also a great way to introduce literature – like the other DK books they also have short bits of info and lots of visuals around the main story.  A Christmas Carol might be a timely one. (Some of these are out of print.  We often buy used books, we call it recycling.)  We also have had success with books based on movies like the Spy Kids or some of the Disney stories – the movie visuals in the books seems to help him focus.

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Things scented.  Scented markers, scented pencils, scented stickers, scented bubbles, and the latest craze – Num Noms (ridiculously expensive but for a kid that loves smells I can see why he likes them).

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Time timers – these are great – for kids who can’t innately understand the difference between 5 minutes and 5 hours, they show how much time is left visually.  (We sent some of these into school.)  There are some cheaper versions or the larger more expensive ones. We also tried a clock that changed colour every hour, but he hated it in the night (he needs a pitch black room to sleep.)

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Some traditional games – Bingo! with a spinner.  Candy Land is still a favorite – (based on moving around by colors) and also Story Cubes, Spot It/Dobble.

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Learning games – We’ve had recent fun with Lazer Maze, Gravity Maze, and Snap Circuits electronics kits (that we have often found used on eBay).

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Lego – our guy never got into Lego until we got some Lego Friends.  We think the traditional Lego people were too abstract for him.  And then he loved the Lego friends performing sets.  There is always some Lego set that would appeal to most kids.

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Technology – our guy has a love/hate relationship with technology.  We have found some things work better than others.  The entire LeapFrog range was always top of our list, very sturdy, good educational – and the toys go from very young phonics magnets up to a LeapPad (which he still uses).  We have had good luck with the Amazon Fire tablet for kids, (though we got it on sale). Same with the  voice command Amazon Alexa speaker (less to break), which we also got on sale.

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Topping this year’s list?  Bean Boozled 4th Edition party game (these come in smaller packs as well).  For those who don’t know, bean boozled jelly beans have two flavours for each colour – one pleasant and one disgusting.  For our sensory-seeking son, getting a small pack of these is often a highlight on a Saturday – he films himself trying them and spitting out the horrid ones.

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He’s also desperate for Pie Face.  I think I see why.

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There are so many things he wants in the ‘made for speed’ category.  He has a scooter that sparks, that was a highlight of last year’s Christmas.   Some of his other demands we consider too deadly to consider: hover boards, skateboards, Heelys, etc.

This seems like a feeble attempt to lay out some ideas.  The main message is to ‘think sensory’ when considering toys.  Don’t try to push them to a new level if they are not yet ready.  Puzzles, dress up clothes, dolls – lots of those items that little kids like big kids might still like and need.  It takes some shedding of parental expectations to find those toys that will help them grow but also provide fun rather than frustration.

If you have other ideas, please feel free to share them in the comments section below.

Calming Down by Melting Cheese & Getting Outside

We love a child with #FASDBy @FASD_Mum

We have been trying to work on ways to help our 12-year-old son with FASD to release tension. As the pressures build with the end of the summer and the beginning of school coming, he has been finding it really hard lately.

A specialist reminded us of the progressive muscle relaxation technique – tensing muscles and then releasing the tension.  He gave the example of holding hands out – pretending to squeeze lemons and then releasing them or pretending to be a turtle, squeezing your shoulders up to put your head in your shell and then relaxing them.

Recently, during an out of control moment, I surprised our son and redirected him by introducing this idea again and giving him some additional physical input.  It started by making a pillow sandwich on his bed with lots of pillows – then we gave it a twist by telling him he was melted cheese.  By the time we were done he was giggling and thinking of different foods that start off hard and then become soft.  As he was acting this out, I was encouraging him to tense his muscle groups and then massaging them and helping him to release the tension…it was surprisingly fun and certainly better than the full on aggressive meltdown he had been having before we started ‘playing’.

It’s important to remember that kids with FASD can have an emotional age about half their physical age, so while it may seem ‘childish’ to do this even with a pre-teen or teen, they might really enjoy the time to be silly (and it can have a very positive effect).  Our son is a bit obsessed with cheese so that was a main focus, but you can choose your food…

  • Pretend you are the cheese on a ham and cheese toastie. The cheese starts off solid (tense all muscles) and then melts (relax all muscles).
  • Pretend you are a piece of spaghetti – stiff and straight until you go into the pan, and then you go all loose and squiggly and get curled up onto the fork.
  • Pretend you are a sausage in the pan, all straight and solid. Sizzle as you cook and then pop!
  • Pretend you are the ingredients for ice cream – we stir you up (head to toe quick shaking). Then you go frozen solid.  We take you out of the refrigerator, and then you start to melt.
  • Pretend you are the cheese on pizza as it cooks – starts off solid and then gets all loose and melts everywhere.
  • Pretend you are the cheese in a burrito – wrap up in a blanket, tense, and then pretend you are cheese melting.

That is how we improvised it – but here are some tips from some professionals:

Relaxation script for kids

How to do progressive muscle relaxation, AnxietyBC

Progressive Muscle Relaxation for Children, A.S. Koeppen

It’s also great for caregivers too:  Progressive muscle relaxation exercise for caregivers

To do the technique properly, you are supposed to do it in this order: Stress Management: Doing Progressive Muscle Relaxation

And here is why it works:

“This process of relaxation is guaranteed to happen because it is based on a principle of muscle physiology. Whenever you create tension in a muscle and then release the tension the muscle has to relax. The muscle does not have a choice. It must happen. The interesting aspect of this process is that the muscle will not only quickly relax back to its pre-tensed state, but if it is allowed to rest, will become even more relaxed that it was. As this procedure of creating tension and then releasing it is applied to every major muscle group of the body, all of these muscles will become more relaxed than when you started.

“The key to triggering the relaxation response in this manner is to take charge of the voluntary muscles by tensing them and forcing them into a state of relaxation. Once the muscles relax then the other components of the relaxation response will naturally follow. Relaxed muscles require less oxygen so the breathing pattern slows and deepens. The heart does not need to be beating so fast to carry oxygen out to tense muscles. Heart rate and blood pressure decline. The normal blood flow returns to the belly and digestion resumes. The belly is calmed. Hands and feet warm up. Such a series of bodily adaptations all start and fall naturally into place because the voluntary muscles are being directed into a state of relaxation. Soon changes in mood follow, and you become more calm and refreshed.”

We also are teaching our guy to take some ownership for figuring out his needs, and helping with strategies when he starts to feel unhappy.

You may have seen the earlier post, SuperT: How to go from angry to happy, which includes a video he made advising other kids, and where used we emojis as aides.

Recently he made two more videos – encouraging kids to go outside if they are having a bad day.

We are improvising as we go along.  Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we adults have a role in teaching techniques that will help our kids get through these moments.  Sometimes around here we find the days so pressured that we take short-cuts, we feel the weight of it all so heavily that we forget that having fun is also therapeutic.

The Most Powerful Video on FASD We Have Seen

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By FASD_Mum and FASD_Dad

We don’t normally do posts like this, but we were both riveted to the screen this morning.  This is a perceptive and authoritative video explaining Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorders and the life-long impact even small quantities of alcohol can have on children before they are born.  If you would like to better understand our child, and others like him, please give yourself 26 minutes to watch this film.  The young 10-year-old girl in this film could be our son.

And please, support those around you who are or may become pregnant by helping them to avoid alcohol during those precious months. Experts in this video show the proof that even a small amount of alcohol in utero at the wrong point in development can have profound and enduring effects on a child.  And please also encourage our societies to help meet the needs of those loved ones who are struggling every day of their lives with this hidden disability.